*breathes* What doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger. Now that statement is very true. You know I never believed in the saying, “if you dont have something good to say, dont say anything.” I’m more of the, if you have something to say, just bloody say it already. It may bite at times, but hey, who am I to judge. Now I have come across all kinds of people, maybe not all, but it sure is alot, and people always have intentions, however I might not be able to understand them. Just in this case, how in the world would I understand these people’s intention in doing something like this, bringing down a person soul just to, what? Satisfy their own? It’s easy to understand why many backslide, and how many despise the religion of Christianity. I myself have been guilty of contributing to that. But it’s sad. I really wanted to give it all up. Honestly. Knowing too much, isn’t always the best. When you’ve seen it all, what goes on in front, and behind, and all around you. It’s sickening. Anyways. That’s enough about that topic, it’s a neverending one.
I couldn’t make it for APYAC this year, more of I didn’t want to for the first day, and couldn’t for the rest of the days due to work issues. But I really didn’t feel up for it, my soul said no, I knew I could be blessed and all, and my entire life would most probably change in a second, along with 1500 others. But what’s the point? What’s the point if I know at the end of the day I will fall back into the same cycle. Now I know when the time comes where I will, finally, run my course, and achieve my purpose in life. But now, it somehow isn’t time. There are trials that I need to go through, there are seasons of battering where I need to face, and at the end of that, my true self will emerge from all the dust. I hope. Well, i will let conference #243116 pass by this time. I will let 2009 come to an end, with family and close friends by my side. Then 2010, i will grab you by the horns, and we’ll have the of our lives. Season of reckoning beckons. I’m ready, oh yes I am. Self-realization has arrived. I am, awake.




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