El Prodigal

.Luke 15:11-32, Bible Experience by Zondervan

^“11Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹²The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ ²⁰So he got up and went to his father
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.^[b]‘

²²“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹” ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³²But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

Luke 15:11-32

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I feel I can put myself in the prodigal son’s shoes.  Well all except for the wealth part. A few years ago, I left, not physically but emotional and spiritually. I left in anger and bitterness, to search for my own identity, the prodigal son in the story asked for his share of the estate, I wanted my own identity, an identity that when people remember my name the will see my face, not the face of another, my father, or my family. But me. In the process unfortunately, I went wayward, lost my intentions, just maybe the son had intentions such as mine. He probably wanted to take the money, and make it on his own, in the real world, make himself established, just maybe. I tried, I failed. I did all but the right things, the sins on my list if you wrote them down the list will go on forever. It’s okay to make mistakes, except the ones that destroy you. I made the latter.  Not once or twice but over and over again. I was an addictions, I was stuck, six feet under at such a young age. I wasted all my efforts, instead of trying to make my own name, my own image, I ruined it, and brought down my family and my father’s name. Soon enough I was indulging in the pigs food, or rather worldly rubbish.

Where I am right now, is on the way back to my father’s house. I may not have reached, but I’m halfway there, getting there, hopeful, regretful, shaken, broken, destroyed, torn apart, yet, still hopeful. I know there will be people that will try to pull me down, out of vengeance, envy, anger, God knows what reason, but I will resist, I will strive forward, for If my God is for me, who can be against me.

As much as the world feels I don’t deserve a second chance, too bad Grace feels the opposite, Grace and Mercy is the reason we are alive, Grace and Mercy is the reason I can still walk and talk, Grace and Mercy will be the reason I get that Second Chance, and those of you who want to prevent that, you won’t face me, but my Maker.

I wish I could work out my consequences, and not just wait for it to pass. I wish retribution was possible in this world, but we all know, punishment is inevitable, even when one doesnt deserve it. The world has come to a point where evil has covered the earth, although good still reigns, evil still tries to destroy lives each day.

Let me go, release me. Let me fly, let me run, let me free. I want to soar once again.

I thank God for my guardian angel, constantly protecting me. What would I do without you.

I’m coming back.

I am.

Give me time.

Time is what everyone needs.

And I am someone,

I need time.

Serve.

There is no doubt that ever since I was young, I was born, trained, to serve, in church. My parents have brought me up well in that department. I still remember going to the church office after school, or learning Clown performance, so I can help out in Children Ministry, or playing guitar for caroling, and it was the same in Alor Star, with the drums, and now here in PJ, it’s really awesome, and not to mention as time goes by my horizons expand, to designing, video , drums, and all sorts.

But it really thrills me to serve in church, wherever that may be. My boss in Coffee Bean once asked me, whether I got payed to play drums for church, I said no, he got a little shocked and asked why, I just smiled. Knowing my reward isn’t here. =)

But honestly, if I ever stopped serving, that would be the death of me. I cannot imagine not serving. It’s so hard to go to church on a weekend and not do something, you know, whatever it is, running somewhere to get something, folding, decorating, wrapping, anything, as long as I’m playing a part, I’d be glad. 

I find more joy playing drums for church than anywhere else, it’s more worth it. 

But that’s just me. I can’t change that fact, that good ol’ fact. Heh. 

What use are hands that cannot hold,

Or feet that cannot walk,

or heart that doesn’t yearn to serve.

My death will come when I am no longer capable of serving. Till that day arrives, no human being can stop me. 

Post – Bangladesh 1

From the moment Flight MH 196 touch base in Dhaka 12.10AM(local time) the lyrics of God of this city kept playing in my mind, ” Your the God of this city, Your the King of these people, Your the Lord of this nation, You are.”

From the first day til’ the last. Every moment we poured out our sweat and energy. All to Glorify the name of Jesus in Bangladesh. God lit the fire in Khulna. God rained upon the cities not only in the physical but the spiritual realm.

Something sparked and we knew it.

Every child, youth and adult was touched.

It wasn’t the ending when we left, but the beginning, of a Revival that will shake Bangladesh. A great nation, of great people.

Victory*08

“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

- 1 Corinthinans 15:57

It takes a lot to keep the victory.

It’s back to the real world now.

Reality. Time to live it.

No more fooling around.

I’m getting serious.

You heard me.

Will post more on Victory*08 soon.=)

This was not just another camp.

It was surreal, it marks the beginning of a new season. For this generation.

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Dear God,

Can you please help reduce the AirAsia flight to Krabi on the 2nd October 2008.

,Amen.

There is a difference when your playing according to the flow, then technical skills don’t really matter.

I wouldn’t mind playing drums for the rest of my life.

If there was an audition for drummers in heaven i would be first in line. xD

10 For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness. – Psalms 84:10

Healing Conference. If you missed the first night. Come Friday night. Serious. When have I recommended something not good for your soul.

Awesome!

~ I believe, your’re my healer~

On Mike…

I am lost for words…

All we can do now is pray.

We are not in a position to judge..

[added 26th August 2008]

Of Poles and Rules

Page 57 of Paulo’s Coelho’s Like The Flowing River,

Of Poles and Rules

In the autumn of 2003, I was strolling through the center of Stockholm late one night when I saw a woman walking along using Ski poles. My first reaction was to assume that she must had had an accident, but then I noticed that she was moving swiftly and rhythmically, just as if she were skiing, except of course, that we were surrounded by asphalt. The obvious conclusion was: ‘The woman must be mad. How can she possibly pretend she’s skiing in a city?’

Yohanes 3:16

    “Tu’ nosianan no kopio O Kinorohingan do tulun do hiti’d pomogunan gisom do pinatahak dau i Tanak dau dit iso-iso: om a’ indo apatai O pointikidtikid do tulun di monongkuyan dau, suai ko’ kaanu do koposion dit otopot kopia om i poingompus.” ~ Yohanes 3:16

 

Transalation:-

 

    “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” ~ John 3:16

 

Beautiful language eh? Something I learned in Sabah.=)

 

You should listen to their dusun songs.

 

Time to let go of the past now boy.

For no one can offer the most intimate relationship but God alone.

It’s time to go back to that secret place He used to take me every morning up in the mountains.

It’s time we became “Heng Tai” once more.

Grant me the will to forgive.

Greater Heights. No limitations. His pace.

I once heard this story in DTS:-

“There was a boy, who loved God with all his heart. He lived for God, in all that he did he worshiped him. Until he met this girl, she was a sweet loving girl, God- fearing too, so they became close quite fast.  Then she asked him to give his heart to her, because she wanted to know if he could make that commitment. Reluctantly, he took out his heart, pure as gold, sanctified by God, and gave it to her to keep. 

Not long after, he saw her walking with another guy, hand in hand. He walked up to her, asked her what was this all about, she simply said, “I never loved you.” She then took out his heart, crushed it, and threw it to the ground, and left.

There he was, that poor boy, kneeling on the ground, weeping, because it really hurts when  your heart is broken. It really does hurt when you gave your all, Only to have your efforts wash down the drain, It really hurts.

He continued weeping for days, then one day, a man came along, took his crushed, broken heart, kept it, and gave the boy a new one, and said to him, “I will always love you not matter what the circumstances are.” That man, is Jesus.  For only he is capable of giving a new heart, of restoring hurtful past.”

I pray that God grant me a new heart, a pure heart, that I may guard it with all my heart and mind.

Amen.