.Luke 15:11-32, Bible Experience by Zondervan
“11Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ 20So he got up and went to his father
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[b]‘
22“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25“Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31” ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”
Luke 15:11-32
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I feel I can put myself in the prodigal son’s shoes. Well all except for the wealth part. A few years ago, I left, not physically but emotional and spiritually. I left in anger and bitterness, to search for my own identity, the prodigal son in the story asked for his share of the estate, I wanted my own identity, an identity that when people remember my name the will see my face, not the face of another, my father, or my family. But me. In the process unfortunately, I went wayward, lost my intentions, just maybe the son had intentions such as mine. He probably wanted to take the money, and make it on his own, in the real world, make himself established, just maybe. I tried, I failed. I did all but the right things, the sins on my list if you wrote them down the list will go on forever. It’s okay to make mistakes, except the ones that destroy you. I made the latter. Not once or twice but over and over again. I was an addictions, I was stuck, six feet under at such a young age. I wasted all my efforts, instead of trying to make my own name, my own image, I ruined it, and brought down my family and my father’s name. Soon enough I was indulging in the pigs food, or rather worldly rubbish.
Where I am right now, is on the way back to my father’s house. I may not have reached, but I’m halfway there, getting there, hopeful, regretful, shaken, broken, destroyed, torn apart, yet, still hopeful. I know there will be people that will try to pull me down, out of vengeance, envy, anger, God knows what reason, but I will resist, I will strive forward, for If my God is for me, who can be against me.
As much as the world feels I don’t deserve a second chance, too bad Grace feels the opposite, Grace and Mercy is the reason we are alive, Grace and Mercy is the reason I can still walk and talk, Grace and Mercy will be the reason I get that Second Chance, and those of you who want to prevent that, you won’t face me, but my Maker.
I wish I could work out my consequences, and not just wait for it to pass. I wish retribution was possible in this world, but we all know, punishment is inevitable, even when one doesnt deserve it. The world has come to a point where evil has covered the earth, although good still reigns, evil still tries to destroy lives each day.
Let me go, release me. Let me fly, let me run, let me free. I want to soar once again.
I thank God for my guardian angel, constantly protecting me. What would I do without you.
I’m coming back.
I am.
Give me time.
Time is what everyone needs.
And I am someone,
I need time.
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